Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize