My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
