What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
