i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
