how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize