I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
