11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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