No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
