plz talk dirty to me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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