Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
