We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
