Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize