So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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