i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
