so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
