SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Rumble strips road head = magical
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
