she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize