am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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