why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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