We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
