You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i think my cat just said my name.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
