I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
