why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
