her vagine was all disorganized.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
