hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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