Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
