Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
