He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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