So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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