Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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