apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
