Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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