Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
