Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
