There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize