Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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