Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
