I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
