my mouth tastes like poor choices
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You were trust falling into bushes
we should paint friendship bongs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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