he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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