why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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