i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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