Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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