so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize