she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
