Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
