Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize