We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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