This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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