Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
