So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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