3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
