I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
