You made me cry and you don't even care
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
