if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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