you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
