lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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