Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
