I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
