don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
