Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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