even my farts smell like vagina
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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